How to make your relationship last through tough times, aka How to have a relationship that lasts

 How to make your relationship last through tough times, aka How to have a relationship that lasts

Relationships are an integral part of life. The relationship that you have with your parents, the relationship that you have with your extended family. The relationships that you have with your friends and your coworkers. Usually, when people talk about relationships, however, they mean your relationship with your significant other. 

Starting a relationship is easy, maintaining a relationship is complex, and ending a relationship is pretty easy, especially nowadays. People want to start and then give up. They want to waste their time trying to meet the right person and find their soulmate when the person you probably should be with is in front of you, and you just need to figure out how to save the relationship. I’ll give you some tips about how to make a relationship last long. I’m not a relationship guru or anything, but I’ve been through a couple of relationships; this is not my first rodeo. So here goes

Define what you want from a relationship.

You got to figure out what you want from the relationship. If you think that the relationship is only about what happens in the bedroom, then that’s not good enough. The thing is that 90% of the time, if not more, you will be spending time and doing other stuff. You can be having breakfast together; you’re going places together. If you don’t genuinely enjoy the time that you have with somebody, then definitely it’s not worth it to have a relationship with them, although a lot of people try to do that though.

Learn about yourself and your partner.

A lot of people think that they know about their partner. The thing is that some people say that you will never know somebody in and out. Why don’t you spend time and get to know them? 

You could have dinner. You could watch a movie with them. I mean, it’s pretty slow, but at the same time, you don’t want to move them into an interrogation or anything. Getting to know people is kind of like an art. You need to ask people questions and offer something about yourself. Maybe what you can do is ask them something, and then enjoy the time that you have together.

On the other hand, you could probably take an active approach to try to get to know somebody better. Have some questions about something they like, then maybe you could say, well, you know what, that’s interesting. I want to do that too. Perhaps you guys would enjoy fishing or something. Or, maybe through that conversation, you could learn that they had some terrible things that happened to them a long time ago, and that’s why they hate swimming. Identify what they had been through so it doesn’t sound like you’re trying to pry into their private life or anything. Either way, you’re getting to know your partner better

Set boundaries and communicate with each other.

A lot of reasons why a lot of people argue are because they don’t have any boundaries. For example, when you’re too tired, you start arguing about little things. Or when the kids are crying, and your wife is distraught, you come to her and say, why is it that the kids are screaming? And she snaps at you. Stuff like that. It’s just a situation where the boundaries are crossed, and people get upset. And then obviously, over time, when you’re getting upset too much, it leads to terrible things—breaking up, maybe. Divorce. Who knows.

Build trust and respect.

Building trust takes time. Building respect takes even more time. In my experience, I would say that when you try to make somebody trust you, it’s like you have to go through some obstacle. People don’t trust people when they meet them right away. Do you like to think that you have that level of trust when you are in a relationship with somebody? You have that respect as well. I mean, you can’t say do you trust me? Or do you respect me? That’s just weird. So you’re just going to have to feel out the situation and then try to get them to trust you more and more. When you go to these weird therapy sessions, have these trust exercises where your partner will fall into your arms; if they don’t trust you, then they won’t fall into your arms backward because, well, why would they trust you? I mean, you didn’t do all these different things when you said that you would do them in the relationship. So that’s when you have to be a person of your word. When somebody asks you to do something, and you agree to do it, you have to have some follow-through. This is the foundation of trust

Make time for each other.

People don’t have any time anymore. Everybody’s always working and doing something. Making time for each other doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to go out and have an extravagant dinner and spend a lot of money. It means you must spend time seeing what you like about that person. Just look at them and say you know what, I enjoy spending time with you. Or maybe you guys could do something productive together, like going to the gym. Either way, you’re spending time together, and you’re nurturing that relationship.

Don't take each other for granted.

For me, this is kind of like a breaking point. If you take somebody for granted too often, then definitely they’re going to go to somebody else who appreciates them more. Or maybe they won’t see anybody else anymore, because they think that everybody is like you and takes them for granted. Being taken for granted is a bad thing because you know you’re trying to do something for people, and then they keep thinking, oh yeah, this person is going to be here all the time. This person is going to serve me and help me forever. And that’s not true, and people go away, things change. So you know you like to have that appreciation sometimes. And also other people would like to be appreciated as well

Celebrate your successes and learn from your failures.

When you guys feel good, then you know, make it kind of a celebration of it. When you have had failures in the past, that’s OK, and then you could take them into account and just don’t do that again. Apologize for something that happened before, and then make what you have going well even better. What I mean is, when everybody’s happy, then don’t bring up the past. Just celebrate the future things. More specifically, if you guys are having a perfect time on your vacation, then take lots of pictures so you can remember that.

Relationships are tough. Especially now, a lot of people are just basically stuck to their cell phones online; they’re working their job all the time. You got to invest some time and energy into relationships. I hope that this was useful for you. I think that if you apply some of these techniques, then you can have yourself a little bit of a better relationship. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it takes two to tango. Good luck with your relationship